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That is a communicative option that we have.  Spouses, we wield such power with our words.  They have such octane behind them.  We don’t realize the damage they can do.  Don’t spoil your spouse’s spirit.  Don’t put dead fish in your spouse’s tackle box.

There is another option.  It says, “Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouth but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen.”  We can either spoil our spouse’s spirit or we can build and benefit them through positive communication.  I should say to Lisa only what is helpful for building her up.  “I admire you for that.  You do that so well.  No one else notices what you bring to the table, but believe me, I do and I thank you for it.”  There is nothing like being energized by your spouse.  Yeah, a co-worker can say something to you in a complimentary fashion.  A friend can.  But there is nothing like your spouse.  And we can build our spouse up, and I like this next part, “according to their needs…”.  People who are great communicators work at it and they learn and they discern the situation.  They have appropriate responses, appropriate words, appropriate looks, appropriate nods for the situation.

The verse continues, “…that it may benefit those who listen.”  In some translations it says that it may give grace to those who listen.  In other words my voice box can be a vehicle for the blessing and the grace giving of God.  When I communicate words of love to Lisa, God can use my vocal cords to communicate His love to her, His understanding to her, His compassion to her, His encouragement to her.  That is something, isn’t it?  “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen.”

I guess the question now that begs to be answered is, how?  How?  “Yeah, I don’t want to spoil my spouse’s spirit.  I know I have stepped over the line, I have thrown some perch his (or her) way, but I want to change, man.  How do I change?”  Well, I want to share with you several things that we can do to ramp up our learning curve, several practical steps that we can take that will build and benefit our spouse, that will help us implement innovative action for qualitative growth.

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So when we deviate from God’s plan, it’s just a matter of time before our structures, our foundations are just washed away by those waves of relativism.  Because if we are not anchored in moral absolutes, everything is relative, everything is subjective.  Everything is just pragmatism.

Look at John 15:10-11.  Jesus said, “If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”

Isn’t that great?  The joy of the Lord, that your joy and my joy may be made full, overflowing, and abundant.  Well there’s this thing going around these days, I hear it now and then, that’s totally not in Scripture.  People skip around and say, You know, Ed, God just wants me to be happy. God wants me to be happy.  That’s what God wants.” God does not want us to be happy. It’s not in the Bible. It’s not in there.

Several years ago I was talking to a couple and they were thinking about divorcing.  They had no reason whatsoever to divorce, and finally after talking to them for about an hour the lady looked at me and said, You know, Ed, God just wants me to be happy and I’m not happy.  I said Ma’am, God does not want your happiness. Do you know what God wants?  He wants your obedience.  That’s what God wants.  Because when I am obedient, the feelings will follow.  The Bible says I will have joy and my joy will be made full.

But to get to the damsel in distress you have to get past this evil, wicked dragon that does this – (illustration of flame breathing) – a flame-throwing dragon.

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Sit back and relax as I read to you one of the most important sections of scripture in the entire Bible, the text we have been studying lately known as the Twenty-third Psalm.  “The Lord is my shepherd.  I shall not be in want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside quiet waters.  He restores my soul.  He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”  Can’t you picture God, our Shepherd, leading us, his sheep?  What beautiful imagery.  Let me continue.  “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me.  our rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”  Suddenly, though, something breaks down.  Something changes.  Has the writer of this Psalm, David, begun to chase rabbits, to get off the subject?  “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.  You anoint my head with oil.  My cup overflows.”  I want to say, “David, I am tracking with you during the first section, but I don’t get the table thing, the oil thing, the cup overflowing thing.  What is the deal?

Israel twice and I have walked through the pastures of Palestine and I have yet to see a group of sheep gathered around the table in the green grass nibbling on appetizers and ordering entrees.  I have not seen that.  My wife and I have a date night every Thursday and we go to a lot of different restaurants in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area.  I have yet to see a sheep walk up to the maitre’d and request a table for two in the baaahk.  I have not seen that.

Listen the analogy doesn’t break down, it breaks through.  It breaks through to a deeper level.  David introduces us to a concept that can change the course of our lives, the concept of amazing grazing.  Amazing grazing.  Do you ever feel like the enemies of life, those pressures, are kind of encroaching on your career, your future, your family or your friendships?  Do you ever feel that way?  I do.  Yet our amazing God promises us that if we make Him our Shepherd-Savior, we can bank on it that He will provide oasis after oasis in the wildernesses of life.  That is the kind of God we serve.

Can you do that?  The answer is yes.  If you have the proper priorities you can rise above it.  Because every time I have tried to return fire with fire, I have been disappointed.

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Today’s topic is a hot one.  Considering parenthood.  Considering parenthood.  I believe that would-be parents ought to take some serious, serious time and they ought to do a boatload of praying before they even think about bringing children into the world.  And maybe, just maybe, God might not want you to have children.  And some of you are thinking in your brains now, “Ed, how could you say a thing like that?  Be fruitful and multiply.  Children are a blessing from God.”  That is right.  I have to say Amen to that.  But for some of you, I am even talking about Christian couples, it might not be God’s will for you to bring a son or a daughter into this world.  And here is why I say that.  I say that because our culture is radically different than it was two or three decades ago.  This place is going nuts.  Just think about it briefly.

Think about radio and television and the content today as compared to twenty-five years ago.  Twenty-five years ago we sang the Beatles hit, I Want To Hold Your Hand.  And today fifth graders by means of MTV watch Stone Temple Pilots sing a sex type thing which celebrates rape.  Ed Young Pastor recalls thirty years ago the rowdiest kids on television, Beaver Cleaver and Dennis the Menace disobeyed their parents now and then.  Today the rowdiest kids on television, Beavis and Butthead, talk about the joys of lesbian sex, they get thrills out of watching people defecate on one another and playing with fire.  At our fingertips.

If you have cable you have over fifty channels to choose from, you can watch soft pornography on HBO, Showtime, Cinemax or you might want to check out one of the network movies that celebrates sadistic, ritualistic, Satanic murder.  Or you can watch a talk-show host tell you how normal it is to be a homosexual, how that is an everyday occurrence and we had better accept it as a lifestyle that is an option. I have got one last thing that I want to share with you.  And this is real insider information.

Will that work?  Well, maybe for the Cowboys, I don’t know.  I’m kidding.  I love the Cowboys.  Realistically speaking, it won’t work.  The center has a particular role that is very important to the team.  The quarterback has a role that is very important to the team.  Any time you mix up the rank you have problems.

James is saying, if we are going to end the war in our lives, we need to, first of all, wave the flag of submission to God.  Instead of us calling the plays, we allow God to call the plays.  Instead of us running our lives, we allow God to run our lives.

Look at the second flag that we need to wave.  Look at the next verse there, verse 8, “Come near to God and he will come near to you.  Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.  Grieve, mourn and wail.  Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.”

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Well, just show up and roll up your sleeves.  We have mission trips all over the world.  We have this camp that has thousands of opportunities available.  We have our student ministry, our children’s ministry, and our preschool ministry.  We have this Hand in Hand ministry where we help those who have lost loved ones.  We bring food to people who are destitute and downtrodden.  We have opportunities for Bible studies and opportunities for small groups.

So don’t sit there and say, “I don’t know what I’m supposed do.  I don’t know where I’m supposed to serve.” You’re asleep.  Wake up!  There are opportunities all around.  We need you to get off your rear and into the game.  Get out of the stands and on to the court.  It’s time to do it.  The time is short.  Don’t sleep.  Don’t sleep. Martin Luther had a dream of hell one day.  He dreamed the devil was sitting on the throne and a bunch of demons were reporting to the devil about what had happened. One demon came up to Satan and said, “Satan, let me tell you man, some Christians were going on this caravan throughout the desert and I caused these tigers to attack them and kill them.”

Satan said, “That’s stupid, because their souls are with Jesus.  That doesn’t do a thing for me.” Another demon said, “Satan, there were some missionaries on their way to this trip, to this island out in the middle of nowhere. And I caused this great wind and waves to hit the ship and it killed all the Christians.” Satan said, “Man, again, you don’t get it.  I’m after their souls.”

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And then they told me, “Okay, we’ll all be sitting in the throne chairs and your key is when the organ begins to play softly, one of the pastors will look at you and give you a nod. When they give you that nod, that holy nod, that’s your time to pray.” And that’s what they did. The organ played softly and I was sitting on the edge of a throne chair. I looked and was waiting for the nod, and there it was.

So I gathered my thoughts and made my way up to the pulpit. It was my first public pastoral responsibility. I was a preacher’s kid, and I was thinking, “Okay, I’ve got to do well. I’ve got to do put my best ministerial foot forward. I’ve got to have my voice sounding right. The words have to be right—the ‘thees’ and the ‘thous.’ And it’s going to be a high, priestly prayer. I’m going to use all the Christianese and the language of Zion.”

And so I began to read the prayer. And man, the prayer was going great. I could tell people were into it. There were like, “Oh, he’s a chip off the old block. This is great man.” Oh yeah, I could just feel it, you know? And then I finished my prayer and I segued from my prayer into the Lord’s Prayer. And during the prayer I said, “Jesus taught his disciples to pray saying, would you repeat after me, ‘Our father…’” And thousands repeated after me, “Our father…” It felt really good. “Who art in heaven…” “Who art in heaven…”

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Others here maybe are disappointed with prayer. You’re saying, “You know Ed, I wanted something a long time ago and I prayed and prayed and prayed. And God did not give me what I wanted. So I just don’t pray that much. Now and then I might throw one up to heaven, but not that much.”

Others here would say, “Ed, I am a prayer warrior. I love prayer. I have these deep connections, these times with God. I journal my prayers and I have this thriving relationship with Jesus. And it’s a privilege that I have to talk to God in prayer.” I was 21 when I became a pastor. I was ordained into the ministry. I worked at a large church in another city, and my first assignment was to give the morning prayer during the 11:00 service. That was a big thing. This church was more traditional than ours.

It had a lot of pews, the giant throne chairs, the pipe organ, and they said, “Ed, you’ve got to bring your A-Game when you give the morning prayer. You’ve got to pray for this city, you’ve got to pray for the nation, our world. You’ve got to be on!” They were telling me, “We would suggest to you, Ed, that you write out your prayer.”

So I researched prayer and read all these cool prayer books. I had this prayer written out, and it was laminated on my Bible. Because when you gave the morning prayer, again, the sentence structure, the order of the prayer had to be just perfect. And then you always lead the congregation in the Lord’s Prayer. So I had that written out too, typed out on my Bible.

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Now, next time, we’re going to tackle something that is very, very tough to talk about.  “What happens when I begin to see the change that God makes in my life? What happens as I defer to the Holy Spirit of God? What happens as I listen to him?” Well, I will tell you what will happen.

All hell will break lose, because the devil is going to come after you and me because whenever you change, you have conflict. Yet, as you stay through the conflict; if you stay through the change, if you stay uncovered and walking in the covering of mercy and grace, you’ll have growth.  Change, conflict, growth.  That’s next time.

But here’s the good news:  I can’t change, you can’t change.  No one can truly change.  Only God can change your life and mine. Have you received that? Are you deferring to that? Are you walking in that? Because you have a choice, either living like this.  Trying to walk through life covered; or like this, uncovered.  I’ll choose like this any day.  How about you?

Prayer is interesting isn’t it? People pray. All sorts of people talk to God. Some see prayer as kind of a rabbit’s foot type situation. Maybe you see prayer as your lucky charm; you cover all your bases then you say, “Okay, now I’ll even pray.” And you pray before the big task or the big deal or when you board an airplane. And you do the microwave prayers and you want to get everything square with God before you undertake the pressure packed decision in your life.

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